Many times I have had this discussion with every body around ( sometimes intentionally and sometimes unintentionally) on whether Friends or relatives are important in our life and the argument still goes on!!
Personally, I feel apart from my family members ,friends have played and still play a major role in my life but at the same time I keep wondering what roles to relatives play so much that our previous generation or our generations pay their due respect! Perhaps, there must be a strong reason to this. Irrespective of the fact that most of the problems come because of relatives (not everybody but most!!), I have also observed that when it comes to good occasions, they play a major role in it. In India, the relatives play an important role no matter which side ( maternal or paternal) they are from. For example, in states like Karnataka and Tamil Nadu marriages , the mother's brother who is considered an uncle play a role in bringing the bride who is his niece to the podium . In Andhra Pradesh, the brother ( if not biological) plays a role in welcoming his would be bro in law. Apart from these, they play a role in organizing the functions and this symbolises unity which is one of the good things in our Indian Societies!!!
There are times we get so blinded by their presence that they begin to feel too important about themselves and take every thing too seriously so much that they start interfering in our family matter . Not every one encourages this but again not every one understands this. When you involve them in sensitive matters, be ready to get shot for this a good chance for them to show their authority and gossip comment etc... This is a materialistic world, so don't be surprised when your closed ones ask you for some help or involve themself and then a time comes when they just see through you .
I don't say relatives are bad. But I feel one should maintain a considerable distance so that it would minimize the complications of a misunderstanding and like we people believe, the farther we are, the more closer we become. That is something I believe in. Knowing where to involve them or not is an important thing. But with friends, once in your life you know you can share your thoughts worries and get help with your eyes closed. It would be easy for both of you to cope as the former (your friend) is an outside to the problem which makes it easy for them to have an open mind!!!
Lets be candid ! When it comes to attending a relative's function or best friend's function, whose would you attend? I would prefer the latter (unless it is quite far and for some reason I cannot make it ) for the sole reason that I have grown up with her/ him and that person means a lot to me. Probably if that my relative was exceptionally close, I would genuinely work on trying to attend!
It's impossible to consider relatives as close as my friends because the number of relatives is infinity and how well do you do know them to be very close to you. Probably if you were born and brought up in a huge closely knit family, it would be easy but not in every case. But again in our country as long as you are a part of a huge family, the tendency to for them to understand your point of view is very less. Salutes to those who are very close to their relatives and respect those who don't think the same!!!
That is why Ethel Watts Mumford a famous US author says 'God gave us our relatives; thank God we can choose our friends'.
Cheers to Friendship anytime and every time!!!
Keep Smiling :)
Personally, I feel apart from my family members ,friends have played and still play a major role in my life but at the same time I keep wondering what roles to relatives play so much that our previous generation or our generations pay their due respect! Perhaps, there must be a strong reason to this. Irrespective of the fact that most of the problems come because of relatives (not everybody but most!!), I have also observed that when it comes to good occasions, they play a major role in it. In India, the relatives play an important role no matter which side ( maternal or paternal) they are from. For example, in states like Karnataka and Tamil Nadu marriages , the mother's brother who is considered an uncle play a role in bringing the bride who is his niece to the podium . In Andhra Pradesh, the brother ( if not biological) plays a role in welcoming his would be bro in law. Apart from these, they play a role in organizing the functions and this symbolises unity which is one of the good things in our Indian Societies!!!
There are times we get so blinded by their presence that they begin to feel too important about themselves and take every thing too seriously so much that they start interfering in our family matter . Not every one encourages this but again not every one understands this. When you involve them in sensitive matters, be ready to get shot for this a good chance for them to show their authority and gossip comment etc... This is a materialistic world, so don't be surprised when your closed ones ask you for some help or involve themself and then a time comes when they just see through you .
I don't say relatives are bad. But I feel one should maintain a considerable distance so that it would minimize the complications of a misunderstanding and like we people believe, the farther we are, the more closer we become. That is something I believe in. Knowing where to involve them or not is an important thing. But with friends, once in your life you know you can share your thoughts worries and get help with your eyes closed. It would be easy for both of you to cope as the former (your friend) is an outside to the problem which makes it easy for them to have an open mind!!!
Lets be candid ! When it comes to attending a relative's function or best friend's function, whose would you attend? I would prefer the latter (unless it is quite far and for some reason I cannot make it ) for the sole reason that I have grown up with her/ him and that person means a lot to me. Probably if that my relative was exceptionally close, I would genuinely work on trying to attend!
It's impossible to consider relatives as close as my friends because the number of relatives is infinity and how well do you do know them to be very close to you. Probably if you were born and brought up in a huge closely knit family, it would be easy but not in every case. But again in our country as long as you are a part of a huge family, the tendency to for them to understand your point of view is very less. Salutes to those who are very close to their relatives and respect those who don't think the same!!!
That is why Ethel Watts Mumford a famous US author says 'God gave us our relatives; thank God we can choose our friends'.
Cheers to Friendship anytime and every time!!!
Keep Smiling :)
Hi,
ReplyDeleteNice thoughts.
If I am permitted to express my thoughts, then, may be one need to question all those thoughts.
One of our basic attitude is our firm belief that problems are because of others. Some may put it on friends and some others on relatives and some others on strangers. A little bit of questioning will lead us to the reality that it is "I" who is the root cause of any problem - if there is a problem.
One can treat a friend as relative and a relative as friend. So many children and their parents have a "friendly" relationship. This means, it all depends on ones' attitude to the other human being - who is either a friend or relative.
We need to understand - if we want to mature in life - what is this "role play". As small children, when we come back from school we "act" as it we are teacher and we try to teach the "non-existent students" imagining that the chair, wall and everything around as students. Even though we have been playing the "role play" game, we have never spent a little more time to look at ourselves and see how we are "role playing" every moment of our life. One who spare a few seconds to understand this, will find that, be it friends or relatives or strangers, handling human beings is not all that difficult - simply because one can "adapt to the role' one need to.
cheers